No, I’m not referring to the future in the robots and rocket ships sense. I’m talking about a week, a month, or a year. Nobody can plan for what lies ahead, so when it comes I feel vulnerable and confused. I worry all the time about what my life will be like after I’m not with my closest friends every day. What will life be like without Hunter to take part in my jokes and to hog the spotlight? How will I live when Ty isn’t complaining about a test he got an A on? Can I function without Jessie’s constant “forever alone” quotes or the look on Michael’s face when we are the only people to find humor in science class? Right now, my honest answer is no. My friends are what makes me who I am. Here’s a secret, I’m never truly original. Whenever I do anything, I find myself channeling one of the people I rely on. I can be expressive, like Alessandra. I can be wise like Wooyoung. I can try to be athletic like Cleo or to have dance moves like Chris (but that’s not happening). I strive to let my good qualities shine, and I attribute all of them to the people who helped form my identity.
What ticks me off about parting with my NFS friends is that I won’t really be whole. Sure, I’ll still have an occasional movie night, and we might meet up in Newtown every once and a while, but things will never truly be the same. I’ve always known that someday I would have to leave my friends, but as Graduation draws nearer, I begin to worry more about how my own identity can remain intact if those who made it are gone. The future is a scary thing, because no one can surely predict what will happen. All any of us can do is hold on tight and prepare for the ride.
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