Day #3: My Own Insecurities

They live in the outskirts of our minds, feeding off of negative emotions and experiences. Insecurities. Everybody has them, and I find myself in a constant struggle with mine daily. Let me tell you a story. I have never really been in a relationship, that is, excluding a pitiful failure in fifth grade. I was an awkward child, and my actions years ago have been my only real experience with girls in that sense. Anyway, because I was so awkward and unknowing, I quickly found ways to make a fool of myself and define myself as un-romantic. Because of what happened, every time that I find myself in a situation with potential for romance, I am visited by ghosts from my past, reminding me that I’m only going to screw things up again. The whole thing is sort of like the polar opposite of that fat-free yogurt commercial where the lady eats healthily once, and then is able to continue eating right, exercising, and being happy. Because I let myself be defined as un-romantic, I view myself in a way that is according to that. You can ask any of my friends, I become extremely uncomfortable around girls I don’t know. The only reason that so many of my closest friends are girls is because I’ve known them for years. To be honest, this is one of my biggest fears about going to a public school next year.

                As I said, I truly hate my own insecurities. My ongoing struggle is one to rival that of even Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader’s. My only advice regarding how not to let your insecurities control you is not to get hung up on the past. When my insecurities try to govern my actions, I remind myself that I’m not the same person I was when I was labeled. Also, I’ve noticed that I’m close to opportunity whenever my insecurities are the loudest and most apparent. I just need to remind myself that the sole purpose of my insecurities’ existence is to keep me from doing what I can, and that it is within my power to rise above them.